A Girl Like Me is Impossible to Find :)

loneliness part 2

i'm sad and i'm tired...i'm sad coz i scolded both my mum and my nephew b'cos he was pesterin her tat my brother refused to come up and eat dinner so my mum, though claimed she was v.tired, went to pack some food and SENT IT UP TO HIM..

i was freakin pissed b'cos hey,its ENOUGH that she is taking care of his kid, fell ill and was sent to the A&E due to too much stress on her heart...still falling sick taking care of my nephew, still worried abt why my sis in law and both my brother cannnot settle their divorce once and for all...and now she had to send food up for him...like What the FUCK..hello,he's fully capable and independent adult..heck,he's a father of three,if he wants to eat, he can buy food or he can Come up and eat right..bt i'm not mad at my brother cos he's just Lazy to come up and eat thats all..and my mum had to send food for him..Ritez,like he would eat like dat...

she's bending herself backwards twice trying to take care of my sister, my brother and my nephew and i wish she'd just haf like More guts to say 'hey enough is enough' bt no, she has to be the doting mom and grandma...haiyo!!!i was so pissed i had to burden roshidah wif my burst of anger..sorry ger bt thanks -hugs-

n now i felt guilty for scolding her..i know she's just being a supermum and supergrandmother bt she's gotta start takin care of herself too...its already not fair that my father is consistently being a jerk ..and i'm tired of trying to make her feel better, bt she ends up tiring herself for nothing Again and again..i'm no angel and i should haf help and be around more often bt hello,i'm tryin to like not burden u wif my own problems and even my own existence bt ur piling urself wif problems of other ppl Unnecessarily lah..my brother is old enuf to take care of himself la..

i felt like a jerk..like i'm in between the DIA characters ..the evil Susi and eka..eka cos he tried to give his mother all the riches he could afford yet got rejected and even scolded for tryin to be protective of her ..and like susi, tryin not to be a burden to her mother, even helping her bt in the end got bastard by her mother..heyyyy,i'm the evil character in my family now..wow wow..

wow wow wow..no wonder my cat left mi too..
yek yek yek..self pity dun work, tears wun make my cat or anyone whu has died b4 me come back to comfort mi again...

posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 12:37 AM