A Girl Like Me is Impossible to Find :)

Kecewa

Sueanne's question stunned me the other day

"Why do you go for un-sunat guys" Hmm, though at first i couldnt think why She go for sunat guys, this is my answer, or rather a question i've found deep within myself

"Can i depend on them?"

Because my answer is...Obviously Not.

All my life, i don't see any sunat guys i can depend on be it for minor or major things...i never had a role model that i can look up to thus far...all that i see around me (within my immediate family) is that my mum works so hard day in day as a wife to keep the family together, the house prim and proper, not to mention cooking meals to fill our stomachs While taking care of my sister...Not to mention worrying herself to death, or trying to clear my brother of his constant mess-ups b4 and after his marriage, divorce and 2nd marriage.. and its not even appreciated by these "wonderful" men in her life.

Sometimes, i feel my mum wastes her tears and hopes nt to mention Time on men like these who would nvr grow up and step out of their world to realise the hurt they cause to the ppl around them..

Day in, day out...make that evenings when my dad and i return home...naturally it should be our turn to take care of my sister since my mum takes care of her all day long...bt yesterday just verified my opinion that sunat guys like him are Un-dependable nt to mention Selfish...Esp when they're in a bad mood, everyone kena. This is wat happened yesterday...and it's not the 1st

As my sis was throwing tantrums, my mum who was abt to perform her evening prayer, tasked my dad and me to give my sis her milk....my dad and i both knew my sis don't like to drink her bottle on her bed so usually we have to carry her out to a mattress..My dad carried her to the sofa, which obviously is damn cramped, thus made my sis more unhappy..So my dear dad threw a fit and threw her back to her bed b4 commenting my sister is "jahat" and walked off TO CONTINUE WATCHING TV...naturally,i carried her on my own and made sure she drank her milk at the mattress besides my dad who threw her what to me seemed like a look of apathy (i darent even think disgust)....Like hello, my sis is physically and mentally disabled, what does she know in the first place or what does she deserve to be treated in such a way by her own father...

Then this morning at around 5am, my sister had a small fit yet where was my dad knowing she was having a fit? He went back to sleep. Wow. Dependable, caring father, pillar/leader of the family? My ass. I shall not even start on the way he treat my mum besides us...or those times when my sis was hospitalised, and he told me over the phone he's too busy to come BECAUSE OF WORK and its TROUBLESOME that my SIS LANDED IN HOSPITAL AGAIN...it just makes me double confirm that i shall not marry a malay guy thanks to him and my bro...

Maybe it has something to do when they circumcise themselves at a young age, they have the luxury to depend on their parents to treat them like kings (as they said 'raja sehari') for the period of time until their circumcised cuckoo recovers..thus it makes them feel v.manja and so this is what they expect of their future gfs or wives...*snorts*

Damn bingit...of course i know that nt all malay guys are like my dad or my bro...i have 1 or 2 uncle who lives up or Try to live up to what the holy book defines their role to be...and malay guy friends who try to bring out the Man in them as they grow...my respect goes out to them...

But for now, looking at the men in my family day in day out, i'm out and out disappointed.

posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 11:33 PM