A Girl Like Me is Impossible to Find :)

grim thoughts

a note to stark rope(naked rope?):at least i grabbed your attention *smug*..as u can see,i'm worth it(quote Loreal ad) ;)

on to grave-er? stuff..my uncle is still not up from his heart bypass op..its been 2 days and counting..and i heard the doc wont let him wake up because it'll cause his heart to go pom-pom-pom much faster than he's asleep,and that'll strain n injure his heart further..so ..hey,i felt the tremors again ..its been the 2nd continuous nitez..

these tremors are not good lei..it'll cause tensional lines and lines of stress on and in between slopes,and buildings,and even between grains of concrete/composites of them tat made buildings blah blah..especially like those singaporeans are living in..i'm seriously worried for our high rise flats now..i'm imagining the govt holding emergency meetings wif the HDB regardin our safety..its been 2 freakin Continuous nights of tremors!

back to my uncle..oh ya,the doctors are still making him sleep cos i think his heart is still unstable enough to tahan Live activities from my uncle..so my uncle is dormant now,but dunno for how long..sigh.and my uncle was healthy b4 the operation..i heard he's pretty wasted there at the ICU..*grim*

wont blog much cept to say my family situation kinda grim..wif my brother recoverin from lung infection,and my uncle now at ICU prevented from wakin up at the moment,against his will(O.o!!)..n my sister insistent crying which has started again..n my dad never there as always,life is grim..so grim i haf to keep skippin aikido so that my mum can visit my uncle while i take care of sis at home..i'm sorry i cant turn up these days dawn sigh.i borrowed an aikido book to do some mental skill training(MST) n keep mi up to shape hopefully..

n my sister almost fell out of her cot which was 1.45m high..its the 1st time she did that tonitez for some weird unexplainable reason..thx gdness my sis-in-law n mi were alerted enuf to push her back inside..it dawn on mi that besides taking care of her basic needs,i'm still not up to par in dealing with What has been botherin her all these years..n seriously,i'm scared.its not enuf just taking care of her daily needs..i realised now that i haf to learn to Protect her too..

i'm tryin not to see my sister as a responsibility of mine as i grew up,but rather as the sister that i'm growing with alongside with..even if she's not capable of independence like mi..toughie..its not so much a burden,its more of a duty..she's my sister after all..

the pacifier

red one(eldest):i haf to be strong for mum,zoe,the baby,peter and seth now that daddy's gone

shane wolfe(diesel):thats tough..i mean carrying those thoughts on your shoulder..its a heavy burden
...
shane wolfe(diesel):its brave to cry sometimes...

the summation of my duty in life so far..but one thing lei,my Dad is still around..somewhere,stuck in his workplace,not by my or mummy's side though..sigh

buananotte!

posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 1:56 AM