A Girl Like Me is Impossible to Find :)

Losing your friendship

I regret ever having to feel this way. I regret that things Have to turn out this way. I regret our friendship is on the rocks because of How i've been feeling.

Bt the hurt still remains. I can 4give, bt truthfully, it is very hard for me to 4get. I wish i could get Over it, because the relationship is already Over But

I am simply too sore with the fact that I have a dear friend who once trashed Jasper, and the next moment she praised my friend's boyfriends. 2 of them in a row.

And because of that, since then, i begin to lose my confidence in her. She knows she couldnt talk abt how i feel after my relationship and i know i couldnt seemed to want to trust her that she'll comfort me accordingly.

(I know this sounds Childish, thus this is why i need to blog so i could pt things in perspective..and so that it wun hurt so much...)

I know she don't mean to Compare our boyfriends, But she don't know how much it hurts; to hear her trashed Jasper one moment, and praised my friend's boyfriend the next.

"Why couldn't Jasper be like ____. He's so Friendly, he's so Funny...etc etc.

And she didnt know how i ran to jasper the next day and burst into tears as much as i didn't want to tell him because i didnt want to hurt him. but i did. for it hurt too much.

And it hurts more now that My relationship with him is already Over.

Nobody can know how i feel because simply, they're not me. My ex-boyfriend is not perfect. Bt that doesn't give anyone the right to trash him, and praise someone's else boyfriend the next freaking moment.

Maybe i just want to have my cake and share it and eat it with everybody so that everyone could be happy.

Bt that is so in a Perfect World.

Sometimes i think; 'Now that i broke up with him, are YOU happy?'

I hope you are. Because you played a miniscule part in it. I'm not blaming anyone bt the factors glare out at me from time to time. Especially when you keep praising someone's else bf.

It never fails to hit me in the guts the fact that you hated mine.

To my dear whu'll never read this, sometimes this is how i feel about us;

"Maybe i should have died on my way to Melaka or back from it so at least i'd died knowing that i was loved by you"

OUT

posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 12:26 AM