A Girl Like Me is Impossible to Find :)

Faith needed

"In the midst of pain you can't feel the sunshine" - Siti Nuraishah 130pm 26.05.2007

and in the midst of all the emotions, i forgot or rather i shied myself away from wat shud be the most impt in one's life - god. Thus i can totaly understand those who lost their ways...in this journey of life, we always want to prove that the way that we pave for ourselves is the right one...no matter what, we hang on and walk on, hoping that it's right...till we get totally lost...the way i did those 2 years of my jc life...

and that's the blatant truth; i refused to acknowledge or seek god's help when i was 17-18...and that's why i'm scared that i'll lose my way again..this time, it might be foreva because once the doors of my heart are shut, tehre's no turning back.

i admit that one of my biggest flaws is following and trusting my emotions too much when it comes to the details of my life...be it people or god, when i'm wallowing in depression, i forget or stubbornly refuse to turn to them...i've been dependin on myself all this while to kick myself up again and i'm still doing so..mainly cos i dowan to trouble ppl and mainly, i'm used to kicking myself up upside down..lack of confidence?too much sensitivity? all of that is me...

then again, as wif the gd part of my religion, all my responsibility, carelessness, irresponsibility...i'm handling it all on my own..the secrets of me...its btw Him and me...and the gd part that comes wif prayers..it balances My emotions...for that few mins at least..before i get caught up in the whirlwind of my life again...and the wreckage...

I need more faith.

posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 1:29 AM