A Girl Like Me is Impossible to Find :)

Inner strength is just a facade

d i mentioned dat all this toll has taken a huge stress n years away from my mum..so much so she was almost hospitalised n its affectin her health alot...tis scares the hell out of mi..n pisses mi more becuase she wun haf been in such a state if not for all the nonsense..

yet she remains docile,the Great grandma she will be,the Great mother she will continue to be for the rest of the life..while unnecessary nonsensical stuff simply zaps her life n years n health away..

n sumtimes i know she dun understand y i keep screamin at the kids or act like i dun bother when teh kids are ard..i can act like i dun care,bt if she tinks i really dun care or gif a shit,then i haf nothin to say la..

jasper juz said dat i worri too much n may end up losin my mind like someone he knows. But get this straight-i Cannot lose my mind,i Cannot end up in the hospital.I cannot be down or choose to stay down and out and let things unravel n became more shittier.Even if i am juz a bystander or there's nothin for mi dat i can do to help the situation,i cannot Fail. Simply put,i cannot be Not ok..not when my sis,my mum n my dad will be dependin on mi largely for the rest of their lives...

Yay,i simply cannot be Not okay so if you ask mi if i'm ok or not;you know the answer alritez...

ya,i no superwoman bt if the pillar of both houses(my dad n my bro)keeps doin their disappearin acts or too busy wif their own lifestyles,i cant juz stand by n let the roof fall on my mother,my sis,the kids or even my cats..ritez?

posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 12:52 AM