stoopidly selfish of me
"When you're feeling cold at night, wear socks as your soles are farthest from your heart, so you won't wake up freezing at night" - Waisoon's sms...What happens if your heart's already cold wif or without the socks on..how do you warm it then?
mayb that's y i'm in nt much mood to celebrate anything these days; xmas, new year...the only gatherings i appreciate or look fwd to are wif the er-meis, frennies..heck, i even bought an xmas gift to xchg wif the latter; its nw sitting in the office since the gathering gathered a lack of responses..
i guessed i'd rather be wif my family, or rather, my cats; my furry dependents. i guessed i'm just getting jaded, tats all..every day that passes just brings us a day closer to our death i guessed..pretty morbid huh..
for when everything falls apart, i noe i can always come home...even if the world has been a BIG freaking meanie~maybe tat was y i've always put my family first b4 jasper frm the start till the end...freakin nt fair for him? glad it's over then..maybe it was a mistake from the start, shudn't haf let him suffer by being wif me, i hope he's happier now...he doesnt noe wat i'm up to, bt i can pretty much guess wat he's doing or where he is most of the time, so i dun haf to worry much...
selfish? i noe i am for the past 2.5 yrs twds him..ok, i shall no longer be so selfish anymore..wat the hell was i thinkin to fall in love when my family needs me MORE? stoopid, stoopid..bloody stoopid, selfish me and all the while, i've hurt him wif my selfishness
what the hell was i thinking sia?
posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 1:58 AM
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