A Girl Like Me is Impossible to Find :)

stupid me

I should haf followed my intuition and not made peace or try to haf a peaceful end or reconciliation as others advised me to

Roshi: u were wrong; for some reason he snapped at me. & i haf no idea what he shud be snapping abt when he's the one indulgin in his own self-pitying world. As usual, he was being childish, and i should just have left 2006 as 2006, and nt try to smoothen stuff out in 2007; this is wat happened when one tries to achieve peace; it creates wars and gains collateral damage instead

Val: i'll Be Ok, i always am..i was happy yesterday and today b4 now...but that wisp of happiness i felt (though its really nuthing; see, i craved for even a little bit of hope and happiness these days, so pathetic right) i even felt my heart lifted a little..but not now. He brought me back to reality. it was stupid of me trying to make peace with a childish guy whu cares more abt his games than his gf's feelings...*hugs* i'll meet u and yun 2mrw and i will be ok...

but yep, my dear friends realised me back to reality..and it rained heavily again this evening...

Raihan/Norisha: u 2 are so dear to me, u 2 were so wrong..to give logical and correct advice to me how to help clean up my relationship...when its My relationship and i know best how to handle it ...when it comes to dealing with him, its better just to leave him in the lurch, feeling sorry for himself u till now...freaking long sia..

shit,i should haf followed my instincts and basic advice i give to others from the start

"Why are you crying at home when he's enjoying himself out there, silly girl?"

Kaoz,i step into my own shit.

you know what? i felt better already..i was right after all..

that this relationship was in fact, a farce..a mirage i created in my desperate search to find some happiness or wanting to learn that there is something that exists called love (besides familial love) somethin dat i hope was pure, unadulterated, simple and long-lasting...it wasn't.

Silly me!

James - what is the meaning of happiness when u are always feeling down?

I know there is happiness bestowed in all corners of the earth by God (just like wealth), bt i dunno y i seemed to be blind to it..am i not looking hard enuf, nt looking at wats in front of my eyes? or am i too busy trying to make others happy that happiness to me belongs to other ppl, and not me?

In this relationship, i'm tired of waiting for him waiting for me to constantly steer our boat..so much so that i steered it out into open water and it runs out of oil..and i jumped off it even though i can't swim...but somehow, i know i'll stay afloat...there is no other choice.

posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 1:00 AM