A Girl Like Me is Impossible to Find :)

my life is alive...quietly

I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

yesterday i felt complete,blissfully happi for once in a loong loong time....accompanied jasper for his annual check up at KK and he was given a fine bill of health *relieved*..accompanied my sister who's also at KK while mum went home to take a rest..with jasper to keep me company of course. so i had jasper besides me, and my sister being in a good mood there in front of me in her cot-bed,no epileptic fits too..my world is pretty much complete..it couldnt be any simpler..i have my sis, i have him..someday when i grow up and work hard to support my sis n family,i hope i'll continue to have him there besides me..knowing that my friends are still around me, thats all i pretty much want life to be always foreva..told ya i'm a simple girl amidst life's chaosness

so when we were going home after my mum had returned to my sister's side, i asked him does he want anything from me since he had accompanied me all day long by my sister's bedside..his answer was a sincere no..which to me is pretty much true coz thats y he's been there all along in my life so far..to be there for me..thats y wen i parted ways with him that day,i knew i'll regret it coz you simply cant ask for a simpler guy than him ar..yet he continued to be there..and now,he's still continuin to be mine. thank u dear,for everything.

when we were accompanyin my sis,we talked abt her condition..whether she can be cured and whether there is A cure..he told me maybe the States have since they have more advanced facilities n tech,but do i really want my sis to go thru all those operations..operations shorten your life spans in my opinion..he also suggested i get a maid to take care of my sister easier..but its not gonna be easy because my sister is so damn tough, physical n mental. she hit her own teacher once until she got herself mc-ed for 3 days..dats the testament of my sister's strength..more than me obviously

and jasper fell asleep after beatin my high score hp game >.< while acc-ing me.its juz nice lookin at him doze off,knowing he's there for me And my sister once more..in fact,he's always there..even though i tried to push him away to other girls when we broke up that 2,3months back..the future is still hazy,but then again,it always has been...he's still not too sure about the religion part,but he still wants to be there..and i'm still there,and i want him to be there so yah,there+there=together as one =)

but my priorities haf changed alot..maybe i haf changed..i dunno..i'm at that stage when priorities become clearer than clear, and perspectives becomes clearer too,and much more objective too..even though i'm still not sure which part of the media i wanna be,i juz wanna go along the course learning n producin more stuff..i like scripting,i love the production process and going out and filming,i like to play around with both digital camera n the Real 3ccd digvid camera..i love taking photos and maybe shooting(havent had a dv cam of my own to play with so i'm not too sure)i like animation and playing ard with graphics too..sometimes i tink i'm in the wrong media course,i shud be over at SDN instead...i dont mind interviewing and meetin people but i hate having to isolate others to be interviewed,and the rest feelin a little ignored..i'm not good at presentations,my mind flies out of my brain when i'm in front of people,i cant read scripts coz i'll b really readin the script n not presenting..so wat the hell should i be?*shrugs*

Ans:DUnno,i need a crystal ball

life's becoming clearer one moment,murky the next ten seconds..all i noe is that my priorities have become

My family
Religion
Poly life
Friends
Jasper


as can see,my friends and my dear have went down the list..few years,or even few months ago it was

Friends
Jasper
Poly life
Family


life couldnt get any simpler,or happier for now..though happiness is often thwarted with all the ICAs piling up,my family's problems,my sis's condition,and sometimes i throw away my own happiness...life is quiet for now.its humming..listen...its alive...my life is alive...quietly

posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 11:03 PM