A Girl Like Me is Impossible to Find :)

thinkin of u mama....

looking at my mum makes me sad. and yet i cant feel any more anger (mayb its anger in) towards him. coz i miss having one. even after buckling down and sorta begs him to let go his anger/misconceptions -he still persist...

i get envious when i know of elder brothers/sisters who look out for their younger siblings, even if it means sacrificing their rice bowls(like a ghost who comes in the night,i found him whom i can finally respect and be in awe, only to find him gone when day breaks. bt still, thank you.)

but still, how angry can one person be that he can afford not to communicate wif his family, nt to bother sorting out his emotions...and in the end hurts the ppl he claims he loves...is this wat they called chronic anger disorder? because i don't understand this anger; is it worth getting angry over something, things that haf no proof it actually happen, and risk that chance of not seeing her/the person you love one final time?

i dunno how else to reach out to him. saying sorry doesn't seem to work. mum is getting sickeer day by day. and i'm hardly at home cos of filming...bt insyallah, my mum and i'll be stronger again for there is nothing much we can do to change his beliefs - or lack of it..

somewhere in the quran reads - god can't change you or your situation until you yourself try and work hard for it...the question is where do i begin...again?

[if you ever see this post, before u get angry Again,my intention is not to humiliate you, it's just somewhere where i can plead and hope you read - Think of mum, for at the end of the day, she matters, and not your anger or anything else.]

posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 2:42 AM