A Girl Like Me is Impossible to Find :)

Adik

I never knew the me that I am, without my sister. Born only a year & a month apart from her, all my life, I’ve always known me as the elder sister, the ‘lucky’ one who gets to live life, see life, embrace life, with her by my side.

I have known no other me. And I don’t look forward to the day, if it ever happens, when she’s not around. I don't want to, because living life without her. is no life at all.

Just like I would not have known my mother, if she had not been a mother to my sister, the eyes, the ears, the extension of life that she is, and has been giving, to my sister.

It is something we could not imagine ourselves without. Because it would have mean a lesser us.

My sister, she defined us, gave us our roles, made us who we are. Most importantly, she defines love, and stretches our capability to love her, ourselves, and others, around us.

Life with my sister – teaches me about life, and Allah’s beauty. She was born, like everyone of us for that purpose, that life; it’s all about love. Something so simple, that we take for granted, yet stretches us in every way possible.

Selfishly, humiliatingly, I did not learn this during my growing-up years. I lived life. without her. There were times where I knew she was around, yet her existence did not matter much to me. Except that I always knew her existence was key to my mother. More so than me.

I learnt it was an empty existence. However much that she still was there, waiting for me to realize the bareness of life without her love.

I’m sorry, adik.

Caregiving her is not an easy choice. But it is something we would not have want, any other way.

To many others, caring for my sister is a lifetime burden. To us, she’s merely a gift from God, an opportunity that stretches us to our limit, to reach closer to His love; through loving, living for an individual who is a part of us.

Lately, I’ve always told my friends; ‘I need a guy with a big enough heart to love my sister and me. Because we come as 1; she is a part of me.’

To others, it may seemed like ‘hey, I’ve a disabled sister, would you dare to be with me?’ However, I do mean is, ‘hey, do you have the guts to embrace a love this big, or bigger?’

Because if he does, that simply means, he’s opening his door to a whole new level of love.

Welcome to our world.

posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 9:08 PM