fear is overrated.
Just an update; there was no blue skies today. It was all grey clouds. Fitting since i had another nightmare; this time around, it was my friend being forced to get married. what the hell...But it was nice to hear my brother's voice early on in the morning...dropping by to visit my mum on his free day. it was a blessing, as compared to last year where the house was mostly silent...the only sounds heard were the pieces of my mum's heart clinkering to the floor day by day as she missed him and her grandchildren so much.
these days, hopefully my mum is happier. for that is all that matters to me these days. and for the whole of today, my sister was laughing with the angels (malays believe that special-needs children are cared for by angels.)
sometimes, no, many times, i wish she could share the joke.like today.
maybe the joke's on me. how i try so hard and stumble over and over again. with a dumb smile plastered to my face. because life is too short to spend on self-pity. it is too short to cry and mourn over life's shortcomings. so that is why i do not understand why for many, the cup is half empty. or worse, broken :p. maybe it's just a call for attention, some kind of war cry that u need someone.
because everyone needs someone. i know i do.
because turning the cup over on its right side, it's just a matter of perspectives. of teaching our brain, conditioning our brain that life is right and that we are still breathing. and with each breath, we can choose to laugh, or cry.
i choose to smile; my cup's runneth over.
looking at people who are more disadvantageous than us, it's amazing if we want to say we had it bad. because we don't. not when we are comfortably on our beds, blogging away, facebooking away...or even getting drunk. heck, at least we could afford the bottle.or a can.
look at the hole in the ground, waiting to trip u up. maybe that hole is full of diamonds...it's another of my rubbish wisdom tonight. and i'm pretty proud of my rubbish, because hopefully my rubbish is worth its weight in gold to someone. maybe it'll even save someone's life.
at least,my rubbish would worth more than a broken cup full of tears, eh? which to me, would not be effective in any way.
nobody could have it worse than our prophet. at least we know what's its like to have a mother. christians would say 'what would jesus do?'...for me, i would wonder, 'how could i have it worse than prophet muhammad? i am nothing, my plights/worries are nothing compared to his'
anyway, i'm just warming up, cos i'm still finding words to put to how horrible i felt about yun/val's reactions about jasper yesterday...and then i heard a little abt val's friend's story; about how her ex-bf's gambling problem.
and it made me wonder, 'why is it so hard to find a guy who'll keep you safe?' ...in short, this is what i want, and it seemed that i am not the only one. when i thought abt my friends' ex-boyfriends...hmmz, why is something so easy so difficult to find?
i mean, according to maslow, safety is the 2nd level of the pyramid. SECOND! after basic needs. and in a modern landscape like ours, it's strange how safety is still out of reach. screw his pyramid, it's overrated too.
we are conditioned by unnecessary fears, because our lives are too safe. think sars, think h1n1, think dengue...
in short, fear is overrated. till it's amusing. till it's freaking sad, really. because our lives are so gd, our primal need to defend is still there, and therefore unrealistic fears abound in our daily lives.
like now, i'm getting cold feet over something that's actually nothing.
life's all about taking risks, and having fun. just whack la, ur next breath will still come insyallah. in the meantime, let's just continue living. it's not that hard really, and life's really beautiful, if we put aside all our fears.
dawn will still arrive. the blue skies are just bonuses. guess i didn't have mine today. oh well, another day, another tomorrow, another hope that sprung from my heart that the blue skies would be back tomorrow. :)
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come."
-Alexander Pope,
An Essay on Man, Epistle I, 1733
posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 12:46 AM
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