A Girl Like Me is Impossible to Find :)

A Brave Facade...

Nightmares. Again. Not only is life a struggle - a mission to stay afloat with my family, it seems nightmares of the past recur in the present. Can't wait for 2010 to be over, but 2011 may not be a breeze, either.



I need to leave 2010. Quickly so. Even if I have to crawl my out of it. Still, the end is in sight. 2011 could only present new challenges. Stay afloat, my prayers go.

Family-wise, there seemed to be no solution in sight. Throw in a marriage counsellor (cancel. make that 2 - 2 counsellorS), relatives, each other's stubbornness to come to a conclusion, makes you think many times b4 settling down. Life's a bitch and waiting for death is silly.

His failed dream, misplaced intentions turned into our so far worst nightmare. Worse still, it involved 3rd party yellow minions who actually are looking for decent part-time income to ensure their own lives stay afloat. Can't help but pity them for being fools.

Gd news - finally bought the damn radio to kick the cranky old 2nd hand one out of sound. & it's cheap too, with cassette tape, cd playback and radio + alarm whee. Even the salesman was surprised at its price. & the more I look at it, the more I love it. It's a symbol of love for my family lol.



I know it's laugh-able, but I love it. My mum does too. It's my big-ticket purchase. at $119. May Mum wins a car. She's always a lucky 1. Just a few weeks ago, she won the 32gb Ipad for bro. Just wish she'll use more of her luck to love herself, more.

Still, happiness is for her to define. Just hope her happiness = our happiness, because his happiness = our nightmare. F.

& so, the nightmare. Shows I'm still terrified, oh god. Bad. V. bad. Shows how screwed my life is. On one hand, trusting men my race is already a major issue (sorry dad, I blame you. I still do. Yes, I know. I must not lump into 1 category. 2 bad, I'm silly that way), now trusting guys become an issue by itself (No, I don't blame Jas.) With so much love around me (thank you, dear friends) nightmares of the past must not ruin my present and future.

To live, to love, to dream big and catch the stars into your pocket - you must be brave. That's what I learnt from the granny copywriter.



Kids are so brave these days. Their dreams are alive. I'm so grateful to be a part of their lives somehow.

Terrified. I am. Brave, I must.



"Happiness - learn to let go" - Buddha.

posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 1:02 AM