A Girl Like Me is Impossible to Find :)

Terrified.

It's 230am and I'm terrified. After gathering some of his loan contracts which are beyond ridiculous (think 130% p.a) it seemed to me there is no safe harbor in sight. Despite ways and means to stay afloat, trying to not let all this affects my life, I am weak, I succumb to fear at times, like now. It's been a long, dreary nightmare which stretches and I feel stuck in a whirlwind black hole.

I wish there's someone to hold on to, to tell me it's ok and that my anxiety is in overdrive. Or at least kick my ass out of my own warped fears. Reality is harsh, and mum's stuck in her own pain. As much as I try to be there for her, I'm not strong enough.

I'm scared, for my mum, him, for all of us stuck in this storm. It's been 2 years odd, and the nightmare is just beginning.

I pray for our safety, and sanity.

posted by Siti Nuraishah @ 2:33 AM